Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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