would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just found puke in my bra..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
