If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
