Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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