Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
