I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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