Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize