I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
