I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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