DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
