i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
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He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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