Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
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And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
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also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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