Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
