If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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