walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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