There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
