You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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