I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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