I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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