you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well you can't waste a boner
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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