Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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