Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I need to align my fucking chakras
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
