bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
