Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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