i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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