so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
