If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
