: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
