He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
