i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
