I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I need help removing her.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
