***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
try to milk me bitch
Randomize