Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
