it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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