I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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