the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
