Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
