So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
