my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
