we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sext me about skeletons
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
