There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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