WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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