Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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