Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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