You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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