so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
