I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Randomize
