i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
