do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
