Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
