You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Gay?
German.
Pity.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
