I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
