In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
oh god the rape fog is back!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trapeze. enough said
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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