Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
