how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
