You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
