Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Four minutes until I can fart!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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