You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
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Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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