So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
