She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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