i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My vagina just clenched in fear
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
