Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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