doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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