Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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