Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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