I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize