You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
