we have officially lost it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
