Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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